Safe In Rome

Over the winter, various of the Valerians try various pastimes.

JUNIUS finds out his legion, the XX, isn't going to Britannia after all. New orders have sent the V Aludae in his place, while the XX hangs around Rome until someone decides what to do with them! He recruits new men, but Marcus Licinius Crassus, the richest man in Rome, is also raising a legion, and paying extra. So Junius doesn't get very good men. Boys and drunks, mostly.

BROTHER AQUILA hands over the Soul Jar with the demon-smoke in it to the Cardinal, who accepts with thanks. He will get Top Men working on it right away. Brother Aquila writes a treatise on the events of the summer, and is acclaimed as having fresh insights.

POUNCEQUICK starts a business which fails. He loses his investment, but has a feeling, and buys up stocks of pearls in anticipation of a rise in price.

SYLVIA starts a bowmaking shop which prospers, thanks to the public patronage of Severa Artemisia, youngest and most outdoorsy of the Severan clan.

DECINQUE cuts quite the smart figure in his new upper-class clothes, bought with Temple money. He also gambles at knucklebones with Pater, putting up five perfect rubies, and wins.

Severa Iverria, now Severa Iverria Retaria

RETARIUS rescues a lady who was kidnapped by thieves, and she impetuously agrees to marry him. She turns out to be SEVERA IVERRIA, the finest lady of the land and trend-setter in fashion and art. Iverria immediately plots to win Retarius' freedom, get him a previously undiscovered noble lineage, and run him for office. She suggests running for Quaestor of the Tombs neighborhood, as there are few voters but much crime.

ROSA essays musical composition, but LICINIA MAJORA declares her tunes to have "too many notes." Licinia. apparently, cherished musical hopes but wasn't any good, and is now jealous of successful performers.

PATER, head of the household, agrees to wager Retarius' freedom on his next gladiator match. Retarius arranges to fight Loricus, the most famous of the house's gladiators. They put on a thrilling show, Retarius wins, and he is to be freed! But not until a huge celebration, to be held Friday.

Iverria schemes to get Retarius the free man adopted by a noble house. Not hers, of course; that would make this a cousin-marriage, which is impious. Perhaps the Valerians will make him one of their own? That could come in handy.

PATER bellows at breakfast that he is now immune from the caprice of Fate, because he has three sons! One of them is surely a spare.

Clericus

When CLERICUS asks to be allowed not to marry Severa Artemisia as Pater had arranged, Pater is furious. The family needs to ally with the Severans, since there is no way they will ever be able to ally with the Licinians. So Clericus must do his duty.

Of course, he can't exactly become a priest if he's married, not with the Bishop of Rome's attitude on the subject. But Clericus doesn't push it.

Not publically, anyway. Pouncequick follows Clericus the next day and finds he's contracted a marriage-breaker to sabotage the nuptials! But Clericus doesn't want to make himself an impossible matrimonial prospect by doing something ignoble, and he doesn't want Artemesia's reputation ruined, either. The marriage-breaker is disgusted, but promises to work out something.

Pouncequick tells Pater about the marriage-breaker. Pater erupts in a rage and demands Clericus to be brought before him. Fortunately, the boy's out.

A fire erupts in the XX Legion's camp! Everyone rushes to fight the blaze. Retarius discovers small bare footprints near the place it started. Was it a woman, or perhaps an elf?

Also, BRITA secretly shoots a message into SYLVIA's window. But Sylvia cannot read, so she enlists Brother Aquila's help. They meet Brita under the aqueduct. Brita is a nom de guerre; her real name is Severa Artemisia. She is betrothed to Clericus, but her heart belongs to Bowenn Ivorybow, the Elvish ambassador, who has suddenly gone missing! Artemisia cannot search for him without being seen and recognized, but Sylvia can. The fire prevents Sylvia from following up immediately.

So as the year 851 AUC (351 AD) opens, there are three outstanding mysteries:

1. Where is Bowenn Ivorybow, and did anyone make him disappear?
2. Who set the fire at the XX Legion camp?
3. Why was the XX Legion suddenly recalled from Britain, and who caused it?

Stay tuned!

Temple of Elemental Evil, Week Three

Our heroes corner the dark-cloaked man in the fine jacket. His name is Radu Molasar, and he claims to very old, from the time of Hyperborea, and Atlantis.

When Brother Aquila demands the gold, and specifies the gold from the caravan, Molasar's tone changes. He doesn't want that gold! That gold was stolen by the Temple. He didn't ask the Temple to build its central cathedral right on top of his tomb! In exchange for us leaving, and not saying the name of the Lord in the meantime, he offers to lead us to the gold.

So in the absolute unrelenting darkness, Molasar takes the end of Brother Aquila's staff and leads him to a set of big brass doors. Like the others, they say CONFOUND, CONTAIN, CONFINE in ruby script. Molasar does not approach the doors.

The doors have a spell on them which creates dread, but stronger than any of the others. Pouncequick still manages to overcome the dread, and opens the doors.

A rush of dry, musty grave-wind blasts out of the doors, knocking everyone down. Molasar laughs victoriously and departs.

Inside the doors is a single room, with a purple cloud roiling in it. It's the same as the one in the Temple of the Four Winds, complete with three sets of red eyes.

The being in the cloud tells Pouncequick to open the chest in the corner and take what is inside. When he asks why he should do it, the cloud says, "Because I wish you harm," which is at least refreshingly honest.

There is also a large black stone sarcophagus. Brother Aquila finds a sword blade inside, very large and fine, with no hilt but a slot where a hilt could be inserted.

A hallway nearby contains the gold from the caravan, and four HUNDRED soul-jars. Junius and Rosa start opening them as fast as they can. They don't smash them, for Peter has indicated that would be very unpleasant for the inmates.

"The Temple of Elemental Evil was always a chancy effort," the voice explained. "But I have so much time to waste ... I will start over again, somewhere else. And I will learn from my mistakes."

Then someone annoys the Cloud Voice, so it asks,

"Do you know how to make the clay sit up and talk? I DO ..."

And the stones of floor, wall and ceiling become living flesh!

Everyone runs out, breaking the hold of sudden tentacles and newborn fingers. But it's close. Brother Junius passes his empty Soul Jar throught the cloud, trapping some of the demon's essence, and runs away.

On the way up. they find that Molasar has torn through everyone in his way, biting them and drinking their blood before bursting up into the night and gliding away over the mountains. Vesuvius almost stopped him with a fire bear, which is apparently some new spell he invented in extremis.

The survivors load up Junius' carts with gold and haul out before the Army of Elemental Evil returns. On the way, they meet Scottius the engineer, who sprang the trap as Junius told him to. They shot quite a few of the troops with arrows, but all at once most of the rest shouted in joy and ran away. All the Temple has left is the hard-core fanatics, and they got away.

On the way to Civula, Molasar comes and whispers to Pouncequick. Pouncequick recites the Lord's Prayer, and Molasar reacts as though slapped, overtuning a wagon with two tons of gold in the bed. Then he flees.

Junius' brother CLERICUS shows up with the archers, and the team makes it safely back to Rome, presenting the money to Grandmama in time for her to redeem her jewels. Pater will never know! And all ends happily.

2 experience are awarded for destroying the Temple and rescuing the Valerian family.

Temple of Elemental Evil, Week Two

JUNIUS and RETARIUS, together with Junius' staff, jump into combat with an Umber Hulk, a huge flea-like humanoid. It claws Junius badly, but GNORFANK the Ogre slams into it and fights it, giving Retarius a chance to stab it between its armor plates. As Gnorfank continues to slam the Umber Hulk around, getting cut and dinged in the process, Retarius borrows a hammer and hits the spear which is already sticking out. BRITA shoots it with an arrow, and Retarius hammers that in too. Eventually the monster gives out, and Gnorfank collapses, dazed from a blow to the head.

Junius' servant conducts his general to safety. On the way, he finds a sapphire which fits into one of the eyes of the Golden Skull. One of the four elements is taken care of!

Next the Valerians try the Fire tower. It's got a fire elemental living in a fireplace, who mocks the power of Holy Water. This is an error, because BROTHER AQUILA douses its fire, sending it into a rage.

POUNCEQUICK slams the door, and a terrible blaze erupts inside, using up literally all the oxygen. Then, of course, it dies. The Fire Jewel is in the ashes of its fuel, and is very very hot, but soon cools when snapped into the Golden Skull. Little clockwork teeth clamp it in place.

Next Pouncequick tries to sneak up on the Air Tower. He releases a living tornado, which proceeds to suck in the Centurion, who is spun about and cut with flying gravel. Pouncequick dives through the tornado, a trick he learned in the Temple of the Four Winds episode.

Brother Junius spears the tornado, and his spear gathers so much windblown grit that the tornado retreats! Also, his Rebuke Evil spell probably helped. Six of one.

The much weakened air elemental hides in its tower, pursued by Pouncequick! It tries to duck into a iron duct, but Pouncequick covers it with his cloak. So it ducks into another duct. There are six of them,each roaring in a different voice, as though there were now SIX angry tornadoes.

Pouncequick exits and locks the door.

Moving right along, the Earth Tower sounds like a bunch of beetles chittering over some bones. In fact, that's what it is; it's covered with hundreds of Umber Hulk grubs. Using his borrowed hammer, Retarius smashes them.

The tower beyond has four crude statues posed as though fighting over a black diamond hovering in the air. It's actually held by a silken thread. ROSA's owl bites through the thread and brings her the jewel, which fits into the mouth of the Golden Skull. All that remains is the Air Jewel.

The four statues come to life and bust down the door! Pouncequick runs away and pretends to throw the Earth Jewel into the Air Tower. The statues rush into the Air Tower, where many angry tornadoes proceed to batter them into gravel.

This still leaves the angry air elemental. Which sounds invincible. But the Three Rebukers show up in the nick of time! Egonius is dry and detached, Raius is excited and goofy, and Petrus obviously isn't taking the whole threat very seriously. Together they Rebuke the literal Hell out of the tornado. Then they collapse, exhausted.

So with all four jewels in the Skull (say, that would make a good title) it's time to attempt the Third Brass Door. Like the other two, it has rubies picking out the words CONTAIN, CONFINE, CONFOUND over it. No one can muster the will to overcome its aura of revulsion, except for Brother Aquila, who can. He opens the door with ease; beyond is a throne of stone.

He wasn't holding the Skull at the time, which makes some wonder whether it was necessary at all. We only have Gnorfank and Peter the Earth Warrior's word on it. So DECINQUE decides to test it by sitting on the throne with the Skull in his hand.

Whoosh! The throne falls through the floor. Decinque falls twenty feet but the mechanism which lowered the throne does not allow him to strike hard. He is swallowed in darkness.

A torch dropped to him does not light the darkness. It is as though the darkness is EATING the light. Pouncequick decides to slide down, and on the way, something cuts his rope! Also, when he lands, he hasn't told Decinque who he is, so it's only to the Little German thief's pacific nature that Pouncequick owes his continued existence.

In the dark, clicking sounds approach. No attempt at illumination helps. Eventually, holding up the Cross and chanting the Lord's Prayer drive back the darkness, revealing animated skeletons attacking the thieves! Yes, we put all our thieves in the same pit. We didn't hold out a spare for emergencies.

The skeletons don't like the Cross. They REALLY don't like the Rebuke Evil spell which Brother Junius uses! They flee in bony terror and perhaps collapse just outside the dark room. Can't tell. It's dark.

Other people slide down the rope, in an illustration of the futility of example. 

The third level below ground of the Temple is a wandering maze of rooms and hallways. The Valerian expedition meets zombies, ghouls, and finally freshly-dead Germanii tribesmen, who decide to endure the pain of the Cross if it means they can get their hands around some Roman necks! As possessors of Roman necks, the leaders of our expedition are dismayed.

(Rosa has a Celtic neck. Connel's neck is furry. Gnorfank has an ogrish neck, and the owl doesn't have a neck at all. So they're fine.)

But the pain is too painful, and they run away screaming. Pouncequick chases them, which means Connel does too. It's chasing time! He doesn't know he's following the lead of a man named for a cat. That would be incompatible with wolfish self-respect.

Pouncequick sees a man in an elegant gold-laced coat tear out the heart of one of the zombie barbarians and rip the heart in half in front of him. From this, Pouncequick learns that the heart is a vulnerable spot on this kind of zombie. He stabs one of the retreating Germanii in the heart. The other two engage, and lose, a fight with Retarius. They'd rather endure the pain of the Cross then face the Man In The Elegant Coat!

Following up, Brother Junius and his hearty band of six survivors present the Cross and recite the Lord's Prayer right at the Man In the Elegant Coat, who nimbly jumps around an angle of masonry. Rosa's owl follows him, then flies back out again. ROSA reports that the man gathered the darkness on the other side around himself like a voluminous cloak, and then he shut the door. As you do, when unpleasant company arrives.

So who will bash down the door and face the Horror Which Wears Gold Lace?

Gnorfank?

Pouncequick?

Brother Junius?

uh ... that exhausts the realistic possibilities.

Everyone earns 1 xp for the battle with the four elementals, and the aggressive dead men.

A Note on Timing

Just a mention for the magical types among us: although a week elapses in real time between episodes, we pick up this Wednesday mere seconds after we left off. So no one regains any Fatigue, or the clerical equivalent.

(Also, so that you won't be surprised, Isaac: some clerical spells count more than once against your 19-spells-a-day limit. For example, when you Rebuked the seven Earth Warriors two weeks ago, it counted as seven spells. I was keeping tick marks in secret, but then I lost track, so how about the next time it happens, I tell you how many spells it counts as. When the Three Rebukers dropped the tower, for example, it counted as five spells each -- fifteen in all, plus your one. But if I don't mention it, assume all spells 'cost' one spell each.)

Temple of Elemental Evil

SO:

The wizard prisoner has been allowed to escape, bearing tales of a mighty weapon the Romans plan to use on the Temple, once it is properly blessed and dedicated.

The side of a riverbank has been dug out, and covered with tents, so that when the Temple's army arrives, it can be easily flooded;

Archers and slingers have been posted around the trap to shoot the Temple's army when the trap is sprung;

And the mounted element, which is the Valerians and three squads of Dianic Rangers, have hastened to the Temple itself to attack them whilst the majority of their might is elsewhere!

POUNCEQUICK, CONNEL, and the RANGERS scout the castle. There appear to be no secret ways in or out.

DECINQUE begins chipping at one wall, making sounds similar to an attempt to undermine the wall. He attracts the attention of the Earth Warriors, who are sensitive to mining attempts. They bust through the wall and search for him, but do not find him. When they go away, he uses the hole they broke to sneak inside.

JUNIUS and his staff make a lot of noise pretending to be a legion. They attract fire from the Fire Warriors and the Air Warriors. This allows POUNCEQUICK and SYLVIA to shoot the remaining Air Warriors, and Pouncequick to climb up into the Air Tower. He does get shot in the foot, but is otherwise unharmed.

BROTHER AQUILA and the Rebukers rebuke the evil of the Water Tower. The entire tower returns to the mud from which it was enchanted, sags, and slumps. The men upon it are no longer a threat. Now there's a big hole in the castle.

GNORFANK enters the hole and finds himself in battle with Water Warriors. Dispatching them with BROTHER JUNIUS' aid, he finds himself in battle with Earth Warriors. They're harder to crack, especially since their drill is to replace a wounded man with a healthy man. DECINQUE comes up behind them with one of the Water Warriors' razor-sharp swords and cuts a couple of them down, and GNORFANK finishes the job.

GNORFANK and RETARIUS tug open the Brass Gates of the Temple. JUNIUS' mob runs through. RETARIUS captures a Water Warrior in his net, and gets him to tell them where the Golden Skull is. (The Skull, according to captives, is required to access the third basement level where the loot and the Soul Jars are kept.) The Romans rush off to the Earth Tower.

The Rangers creep into the courtyard. In an archery duel with the Fire and Air Warriors, they win.

ROSA goes into a side door of the castle. She finds a set of ladders leading upstairs and removes them. Minutes later, retreating Air Warriors miss the ladder and fall, injuring themselves.

ROSA finds the Fire Tower and goes inside. It's stocked with combustibles. The lower level, however, is an elegantly furnished bedchamber/study. A hallway of bones outside is enchanted, so she doesn't go that way. She does, however, meet up with JUNIUS' people.

Those people have entered the Earth Tower, full of heaps and heaps of jewels.

"Fall out for Looting!" barks the Centurion. Loot is gathered. However, it turns out to be glass.

RETARIUS, unswayed by loot, presses on alone. He encounters several undead ghouls whose touch can paralyze living flesh. It doesn't do too much against swords, though. Retarius kills all the ghouls all by himself, suffering only paralysis of both hands. Fortunately, Rosa's coughHERBALcough remedies repair the paralysis.

The Centurion barks, "SIR IS LOOTING DRILL STILL IN EFFECT"

Junius says, "No ... no, we're done looting for now."

"THANK YOU SIR. PUT YOUR EYES BACK IN YOUR HEAD, SOLDIER! WE AIN'T LOOTING NO MORE TODAY!"

So the Messenger turns right around away from the golden skull lying on the floor among the dead ghouls.

The golden skull? Indeed, the Golden Skull. It has four small slots (eyes, nose, mouth) for four small jewels, which must be inserted for the skull to work.

Guarding the center of the basement is a brass panel, similar to the brass gates of the Temple. In rubies the words "CONFINE CONTAIN CONFOUND" are inlaid above the doors. There is a spell on the door that makes people not want to come near it. Pouncequick and Retarius can't overcome the spell, but Junius can, because he's just that stubborn.

Meanwhile, the Three Rebukers and Brother Aquila have found the basement of the Air Temple, which contains engineering supplies and engineers. Aquila kicks over a gallon of oil; many people slip and fall, including one holding a torch. Fire!

Much fire. Aquila climbs back up, his arms and cloak ablaze. Raius invokes Our Lady of Extinguishment, which doesn't help because not all fire is evil. This here fire wasn't invoked by Satanic forces, just oil and a match. But eventually they beat the fire out of Aquila.

Then they go back down, after dousing the fire with plentiful water from the Water Tower. Two ogres are waiting for them:

"Oi, that looks loik the bright white light of the Lord God, Derek."

"We don't loik the bright white light o'God, do we, Bub?"

"No we don't, Derek. Let's frow somefin big at them."

Brother Junius hurls his glowing spear down a side hallway. The ogres chase it! Then they break down a door, thinking he's gone ahead.

"Ang on ..." says one.

And then the other door opens and the Romans come in! Seeing that they've opened the Unopenable Door, the ogres take fright and run away. We were going to have a big fight scene and everything ... ah well. Ogres gonna oge.

(Derek runs out in the courtyard and is shot by All The Rangers. He staggers back, pincushioned to the point of death, and gasps out, "It's arrows" and then falls. Bub, after a very unwise glance outside, stays in the tower.)

Pouncequick finds a trap door, which leads to a moldy room in the sub-basement. He drops in, as one does. There are two doors. He listens at one, hearing a creaking noise. He scratches at the door. The creaking stops, and a scraping noise begins.

Pouncequick backs up hurriedly. Junius and Retarius jump in to confront the scraping-door monster. Gnorfank would jump in, too, but the room's full.

And the massive hunchbacked insectoid man-monster smashes through the door, hungry for blood!

Rosa speaks to it, but the insect monster has a rather rudimentary understanding of the world, and can tell Rosa's made of meat. So the conversation wasn't progressing satisfactorily even before Junius stabbed in.

And now its ON ....


All present earn 1 xp for taking the Temple.